Day 46

As you saw by my entry yesterday, Thanksgiving day was the one year anniversary of my Father's death. First and foremost, I was expecting to wake up in a completely down mood and not want to face the day. That didn't happen. I don't know if I was just building it up in my head for so long or if it was the fact I have been putting my thoughts and feelings out there for almost 2 months now in this forum, but the day turned out to be quite anti-climactic. Thanksgiving day in my family has always been "The Holiday." This year obviously had a different feel. But we all gathered as usual at Uncle Kenny's house in Waite Hill. Again, I expected to walk in having everyone looking sad, but it wasn't as such. It seemed like the norm; Grandmom made her famous chopped liver, though she said it wasn't as good because her "heart wasn't in it." There was cousin Steve eating his usual dozen of shrimp, Uncle Kenny playing bartender, great grand children running around. I did my best to spend a little time with everyone in the room as best I could. But again, I wasn't feeling the sadness that I had expected to feel. It was nice. Uncle Kenny lit two candles, one for dad, the other for other lost loved ones. We had an amazing feast, Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, vegetables (which I of course skipped), and a great array of deserts including some sort of chocolate brownie trifle that Cousin Debbie made (I need that recipe). We went home sad, happy, and full all at once. Thanksgiving is a day in which you are supposed to look back and reflect of what you are thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for, my cup runneth over. I am thankful that I had 28 years of amazing memories with My Father. I am thankful for having a best friend in my brother. I am thankful for having an amazingly strong mother. I am thankful for having cousins, aunts, and uncles who are make up an amazing support system. I am thankful for having so many incredible friends who have helped me beyond words in what is now the close of the worst year of my life. Most of all, I am thankful for my wife. Leah encompasses everything that I have ever wanted and needed in a life partner. She is my rock. I am who I am today because of who she is. I never would have been inspired to do the things I have done to this point if not for her being by my side. For that, I am eternally grateful to her.

Song of the Day: "Run of the Mill" by George Harrison - I am obsessed with this song currently.