Day 111

This morning, I got some disturbing news. My friend Pav called to tell me that our friend Rob's father had passed away. He had been battling cancer for almost a year. It first started in his eye and spread throughout his body and into his liver. He died last night with Rob and his brother Chris at his bedside at his home in Cleveland. Vince Paradise was one of the proudest, toughest men I had ever known in my life. We were all a little scared of him as kids. he was the parent who came to every one of his son's baseball, basketball, and football games. He had a distinct voice, and mannerisms that we all knew him by. I will never forget hearing "Come on Rob!" coming from the bleachers when we were on the field or "Way to shoot 2-7" when Dise was pitching. My all time favorite Vince story was after a basketball game our senior year, our bus broke down so we had to get a ride home from a parent. Dise, Pav, and I went home with him. In the car, we started to talk about how bad our team was and how are coach didn't really care anymore and it showed in our effort. He went on to use his beloved Indiana Hoosiers as an example: "That is the thing about Bob Knight. You've Gotta have big balls to play for him. He weeds out all of the pussies!" We nearly cried laughing so hard.

Pav and Dise were my two best friends in high school and we spent a ton of time with each others families. I have kept in touch with them both throughout, but all three of us live in different places. Dise in Cleveland, Pav in Charlotte, and I obviously live in Chicago. They are still best friends and started a company together, so inevitably, they talk everyday, but I have grown apart from them. That being said, when my father passed away, both of them were at the funeral and came by the house to pay their respects. My father loved them both and the feeling was mutual. So when Pav called me to tell me the sad news, it took me 2 seconds to know that I had to be there.

I talked to Rob for about a half hour this morning. His dad has been fighting for almost a year trying different treatments. The last few weeks the doctors had told him basically there was nothing left they could do. Rob said it was so hard being his caretaker for the past few months, but it was what he had to do. His dad was home the last two weeks and Rob was literally picking him up to take him to the bathroom, holding him up while trying to shave him, dressing him, putting him in the shower. The crazy thing for me is thinking about Rob having to do this knowing what his dad used to be. Vince was a strong, tough man. He would never want anyone to see him this way, the same way my dad felt and why he never let any of his friends see him at the hospital. The only positive that came out of this for Rob was that his dad was in a good place mentally and was ready to go. Rob and his brothers got to say everything to their dad they wanted to say. Everything was on the table, and he says it makes him feel so good to know that. I wish I could have had the opportunity to say goodbye to my dad - tell him I loved him and how much he meant to me one last time.

My condolences go out to Rob and his two brothers Chris and Mike.