Day 188

So this weekend in Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year turns again. Its so funny, every one is wishing me a "shana tova" and a "happy new year" around here. Last night I was at one of my neighbors picking up my work emails (my cable was out - long story I don't need to get into), and she was with her best friend, who is a cantor. She immediately threw me a "shana tova" and asked me if we had any kids. I told her Leah was due in February and I received Mark P's favorite, "oh! mazel tov!" Now anyone who has read my blog obviously know I am very jaded when it comes to religion, but why do many Jews feel the need to throw out the obsessive "Mazel Tov's?" A simple congratulations works just fine for me. I know I just jumped around there, so lets get back on topic. Most Jews this weekend will go to a Rosh Hashana dinner and to temple for services. They will listen to a Rabbi give a sermon on the upcoming year. They will pray for peace and praise the almighty himself. My Aunt Nancy was nice enough to offer Leah and I tickets to go to services this weekend. I politely declined. However, we are going to dinner Friday night at my cousin Debbie's house with the Dery side of the family. Saturday for lunch we are going to Leah's grandparents house, and Saturday night we are having dinner with the Warren side of the family.

From a family standpoint, I enjoy being able to get together on holidays like this. We haven't lived here for the "high holy days" before, so it is nice. After passing on temple, I asked Leah if she would liked to have gone and she said "probably." I feel like I am holding her back from making religion more a part of her life. But as I told her the other night, it is just not for me. I think it is all bullshit. It is hard for me to believe in anything. I have gone this route before on my blog, but I want you to understand where I am coming from. The week after my father died, my mom and I went to a Friday night service as a gesture to the Rabbi who was so good to the days afterwards. After 10 minutes of it, we both wanted to walk out. To sit there and listen to all of the praising of God, listening to how God has a plan for everyone, and "its all in Gods hands," made us sick. How can I be all praising something that just allowed my father, one of the great men many of us have ever known, to be stricken with cancer. On top of it, suffer through chemotherapy and be told that he was 85% going to recover, and only 2% of people get an infection during chemo. That is why you never play percentages. My friend Stephanie whom we had dinner with the other night, feels the same way that I do. Her father, brother, and Uncle were all killed by a crazed warehouse worker about 4 years ago. What was God's plan on that one? SHould I praise God for the fact that my father will NEVER get to see my children? My friend Lindsey, who i am seeing here in a few hours, lost her brother at age 31 two weeks ago. His wife is pregnant and due in February. Hey God - why would you allow something like that? You want to know why all of you? Because prayers aren't answered, the almighty God you go to Temple or Church to praise, doesn't exist. You know where my dad is now? Heaven right? Wrong - he is in the ground at a cemetery on Mayfield Road. So this weekend, if you are in Temple, take a step back and think about it for a minute. Religion makes people feel warm and comfortable; gives you something to believe in. I believe that tragedies happen; there is no reason for them other than life is unfair. Think about that. Oh, and happy new year to you all.

Song of the Day: "Only God can Judge Me" by 2Pac