Day 37

#37 - Chris Rockins - one of my least favorite Browns of all time. Steve Sewell abused him on "The Drive" in January 1987 on several key third and fourth down plays. But I digress......

I spoke to my Grandmother this morning. As tough of a time as this is for me, it has to be even worse for her. My Grandfather, the great AD, passed away in the summer of 2003 at age 95 leaving my Grandmother alone. Grandmom is as healthy and sharp as there is for age 91 (turns 92 on January 5th, same b-day as Leah). She still drives and can converse with you like she is 51. When my father died, she took it very hard and rightfully so. Nobody should have to lose a child. He barely let anyone see him when he was in the hospital except his family. He didn't want anyone to see him that way. Grandmom would come to the hospital from time to time, but it was more depressing than anything for my dad. As happy as he was to see her, she hadn't been emotionally strong enough to deal with something as big as this since Grandpop had passed away the summer before. But who could blame her?

Since last year, I have seen changes in her. She is one of the sweetest people you will ever want to meet, but since that day in the limo right after the funeral, it seemed to me that she had lost her will to live. She no longer goes to Florida in the winter like she had for decades with my grandfather. They stopped going when travelling became to much for him. Winters in Cleveland aren't exactly kind to the elderly. She has become a more spiritual person. She reads the bible and does quite a bit of praying. I call her now a lot more than I did before because I worry about her. Everytime we speak, it somehow ends with her in tears. Whenever I go home, I make sure to see her, usually for a meal. Usually at some point during that meal, conversations turn towards the subject of my father and I see her well up. It just breaks my heart beyond words. To see your grandmother, who has ben such a strong, strong woman and the rock of our family for so many years, cry is so tough to take. This summer when I was home, just the two of us had lunch at Mitchell's Fish Market. We had such a great time. We laughed, we talked, and she shared a few funny stories about my Grandfather that I had never heard before. We had such an amazing time. At the end of lunch, she made a point of telling me how much I am like my father and how proud of me she is. It meant the world to me. I truly am blessed to have such an amazing Grandmother.

Song of the Day: "The Stranger" by Billy Joel