Day 42

This is the Monday of the week that is going to be beyond tough. I wish there was a Tivo button on life where I can fast forward to next Monday. What am I looking to get out of this week? I'm not quite sure what to expect.

Today and tomorrow I have to tie up a lot of loose ends for work. Luckily, tonight is the Kansas/Arizona game from Maui at 8PM. Talk about a welcome distraction from my life events. KU hoops and the Tribe top that list. Wednesday we will be driving in with Casey in tow and a car full of clothes. Of course starting tomorrow the weather is supposed to take a crazy turn for the worse and the snow and freezing temparatures are imminent. That drive is going to be surreal, emotional, and long. It was in this same car, on this same wednesday - the day before thanksgiving - where Uncle Kenny gave me the phone call I never thought I would ever have to take. Everytime Leah and I have driven that route since last year, we go through a period of time where our emotions take over. I have yet to make that drive home without crying. I'm expecting this Wednesday to be no different. Thanksgiving day will be the one year anniversary of Dad's death, plus its Thanksgiving. Obviously, Thanksgiving has been tainted for the rest of my life. It will never be the same. The crazy thing is that Thanksgiving is the one big holiday in our family. My entire fanily gathers from all over the country in Cleveland and we spends Thanksgiving day together. For the last 5-6 years i'd say, its always been out at Uncle Kenny's house in Waite Hill. Aunt Linda is a mean cook. The food is always solid. As is the company. The last two years have been different though. A sadness has been in the air. Two years ago was our first Thanksgiving without our patriarch and leader, Grandpop, present. Last year was obviously sadder than sad.

Friday is the unveiling or stone setting. I have no idea how that is going to go. My hope is that the stone setting will provide me with some of the closure that I need. I know it is going to be sad and I don't know what if anything I am going to say, but I am just ready to get past it. Its always a crazy time at Thanksgiving trying to see so many family and friends. I just hope that I don't go into a "I don't want to see anyone" shell because I am so sad. We will see how it goes. One thing is for sure, I am very excited to see my family.

Song of the Day: "Between the Sheets" by the Isley Brothers