Day 80

January 5th, 1976. That was the day that my life would change forever, and I wasn't even born yet. That day, Leah Stephanie Robuck was brought into this world. Fast forward 18 years to Lawrence, Kansas. It was October 1994. The details are a little hazy, but my brother was in town and we went out drinking at the 18th Amendment. A friend from Cleveland introduced me to a girl she was sitting with. A cute little blonde who my friend said had a lot of relatives from Cleveland. We got to talking and hit it off right there. She played a little hard to get, not falling for my usual rap I used to spit at girls, but there was something there. I was totally intrigued by her, probably in a typical guy way, because she did leave me wanting to know more about her without offering up too much. Over the next few months, she played it cool, while I played it weak. She essentially would hang out with me when she wanted to and I always wanted to hang with her. I would go to the bars when I knew she was there and she would purposely be talking to other guys and ignoring me when I was there. I would leave, not give her the attention she wanted, and she would come to my room to see my later or the next day to see me. So finally in November 1994, we decided to give it a try. Over winter break, we talked quite a bit on the phone and planned on continuing our relationship when we came back.

When we came back from break, I called her when I got back to the dorm and she said to come down and see her, well I said she should come up and see me. I guess that turned her off. I'd say roughly 3 days later, we were pretty much done, on her doing. I don't remember this part that well, but we took a break. For about a month or so, we played stupid games. Finally, I had enough, I wanted her to be with me and I knew I had to go to a different plan because being a nice guy wasn't working. So I started dating another girl who was a very good friend of mine at the time, essentially to see what Leah's reaction to it would be. Typically, she didn't like it one bit and started calling me and coming around a lot more to see me. Everything I wanted was finally happening. After a few weeks of this crap, right around my birthday, we decided that we both wanted to be with each other and we would cease the games. So we stayed a secret for a few weeks while I figured out how I was going to drop the other girl. Once that was done, we began to embark on a journey that has lasted now 11 plus years.

To say I am unbelievable lucky to have Leah as my wife is the understatement of the year. We just fit so well together. I'll be the first one to admit it - I am totally lost without her. I was smitten with her from the first time we spoke. When I was struggling with life the second semester of my freshmen year, she helped me through it. I was dropping out of school if not for her. After it was too late for me to come back for the first semester of my sophomore year, I knew I had to get back there. Did I love KU? At the time, I liked it, but all of my friends were dropping out. Sean used to say that all he remembers about me from freshman year was that I was that weird guy who drove a station wagon. All I had there was Leah. But I knew what I had to do. I had to get back there, and she was the carrot that dangled in front of me at home. I spend the summer and fall of 95 taking classes at Ursuline College (an all women's catholic nursing school) and waited tables. I worked my ass off to get good enough grades so my parents and the school would let me go back. I got all B's and A's and headed back to Lawrence in January. The rest as they say is history.

Leah is beautiful inside and out. She is smart. She is sensitive. But most of all, she is so cool. She is my ideal soulmate. I will be the first to admit that I take a lot more than I give. Whenever we have to do something that may not be something she wants to do, she does it with a smile and never complains. Me? When the situations are reversed, I always ended up complaining about something. Do you think she wants to watch Tribe games every night during the summer or never see me on Sunday's during the fall because I go watch NFL games with my friends? If I want to go out with my friends one night, she doesn't even bat an eye. She is always there with a smile saying "have fun."

The thing I love most about her though is her companionship. I love being with her. Whether it is taking Casey for a walk, going to the grocery store, going to a movie, or just sitting on the couch together watching TV, I just love having her by my side. Never more so than with the loss of my father. Dad absolutely adored her and the feeling was mutual. I was honored to know that my dad would tell Leah often that he loved her. When dad was sick and then eventually passed away, she was the most amazing support system anyone could ever ask for. We have been through a lot this past year and a half, and I can honestly say that I would have gone crazy and off the deep end if I didn't have her there with me. I could go on forever writing about her, but words on a page cannot even begin to describe how much she means to me. Happy 30th birthday my love. I cannot wait to spend 60 plus more birthdays together.

Song of the Day: "If Not For You" by George Harrison - read the lyrics. Talk about an amazing love song:
If not for you, babe I couldn't even find the door; I couldn't even see the floor. I'd be sad and blue; If not for you
If not for you; babe the night would see me wide awake;The day would surely have to breakIt would not be new; If not for you
If not for you my sky would fall Rain would gather too.Without your love I'd be nowhere at all I'd be lost if not for you.
If not for you; the winter would hold no spring - couldn't hear a robin sing - I just wouldn't have a clue; If not for you.