Day 56

This morning I was thinking about how I said in the last year I wanted to be a better person. In the weeks after dad died, I received a ton emails, phone calls, and cards from people. As much as I appreciated everything that my friends had done for me, it was the randoms that seemed to resonate with me the most. I received cards and emails from people that I hadn't seen since high school, who wrote to tell me how they always loved my father. I received an email from a girl I dated briefly in my freshman year before Leah who said how she will always remember how nice my father was when he came to Lawrence to visit. Even friends of my friends sent their kind wishes. Of the many well wishes I received, the one that stuck with me the most was from a girl a barely knew. She is a friend of our friend Randi who I had only met a few times and probably had never said more than 10 words to. Her mother had passed away from cancer earlier in the year. It was just a simple card saying "I've been there, if you ever want to talk." I cannot tell you how far that went with me.

On the flip side of that, you also remember the people who don't step up or contact you in any way. Now I know that most people do not know what to say, I can can totally speak to that watching so many try to express their sorrow to me. Two examples stick with me. My ex-friend Caplin, who I had a major falling out with, had every opportunity to get back in my good graces by sending me an email or a card. I know he knew what had happened, but of course, I got nothing from him. The other thing that bothered me recently was last week in Cleveland I ran into my old high school girlfriend Lara. I haven't seen or spoken to her in years. She says "I totally meant to call you last year, but I'm so sorry about your dad." You know what? You may have meant to call, but you didn't, just stick with "I was so sorry to hear about your dad" and call it a day. That was a lame excuse. And honestly, I never even thought about her not calling or sending a card for one second until she said that.

Last week, Beth - a girl I know from the KU circle who is a few years younger than me - her father passed away due to complications from prostate cancer. When I heard the news, I said to Leah that we must send a card. I know her, but not all that well. But I know how important it is to get well wishes from not just friends, but from acquaintances as well. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live there life, I can only tell you how I feel. Whenever you can in situations like this, you should always step up and send a card. Its not that hard.

Song of the Day: "Summertime in the LBC" by Dove Shack