My First Blog Entry

Hello to all who have found this blog. I'm TD, you can read a little about me in my profile, but essentially I am a 29 year old who has been searching for meaning in this world over the last year. Up until last October, I didn't have a care in the world. I was happily married (and still am) to my college girlfriend Leah. I just started a new job which I love. I have great friends, and very close with my parents, as well as my inlaws. My brother is my best friend. And then, that Friday afternoon in early October, my phone rang. I looked at caller ID and saw it was my mother. Typically, I was annoyed thinking it was just my mother bothering me about something random while I was busy at work, but when I answered, I could tell there was something different. She didn't know how to say it so basically it unfolded this way: "We just got some bad news, Dad has cancer." I was speechless, breathless, numb, nauseous. She went on to tell me that my father was diagnosed with Tonsilar Cancer. The causes of this were smoking and heavy drinking, and my father did neither in his life. The doctors had told us that with chemotherapy and radiation, there was a 85% chance he would be fine. The following week I went back home for my dad's biopsy and we had found out that the cancer had not spread, so everything was going to be fine. He would start the treatments pretty much right away. Long story short, less than a month into the treatments, the day before thanksgiving, while driving home from Chicago, my Uncle called my cell phone to tell me my father had gone into intensive care. I turned to Leah after the call and said "I have never let this ever enter my mind, but do I have to start thinking about the possibility that he may die?" About a half hour later, in a driving rain/snow storm, my Uncle called again and I answered. He said "Are you the driver or the passenger?" I said "The Driver" and he said "You need to pull over." I gave the phone to Leah and blacked out. My father had passed away from complications of Tonsilar Cancer. My father was the dad everyone wished they had. One of his friends, I quoted in his eulogy, had told me that he was his best friend, and about 20 other guys would say the exact same thing.

So fast forward a year now - My life has been turned upside down. In this last year, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and survived it, my brother has been going through marital problems, and I have had my own issues. I went from a distant 4th to first in my family when it comes to the stability department. I don't want anyone to feel sorry. That is not what this about. This will be more of a day to day unburdening of my soul. Some days I may get deep on you, talk about my inner feelings regarding my father, but other days I may be telling you how pissed off I am because my KU Jayhawks can't hit the three point shot. I'll also list my hip hop/reggae/beatles tune of the day. I'll be back tomorrow with the beginning of the beginning.